Now that Jess knows she has to do whatever she can to avoid being around Nick, she’s decided to head to Portland to help her dad, Bob Day. This means that Rob Reiner gets to stop by for his first appearance on New Girl since season four. But he’s not the only guest star in this week’s episode, “Misery.”
Back in Los Angeles, Anna Maria Horsford (Friday, The Bold and the Beautiful) stops by to play Winston’s mother Charmaine, who he introduces to Aly for the first time. There’s also Stuart, the awful-looking stuffed monster.
Here’s a look at the action in “Misery.”
The Dreams of Jess Are Alive in Portland
The episode kicks off with Cece talking to Jess over the phone. After the previous episode, she decided to rush to Portland to get as far away from Nick as possible. Cece would like to see Jess come back home, but she’s been held up. She tells Cece that she can’t go home because she has to take care of her father when his wife is out of town. In case you forgot, Bob is married to Ashley, played by Kaitlin Olsen, who might be too busy with It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia and The Mick to appear on New Girl.
While Jess tells Cece she needs to stay in Portland, her dad says she can go home. She pretends that it’s the TV so Cece doesn’t get suspicious. Jess tries to convince her dad that she needs to stay, telling him that they “half-assed” trophy cleaning. He picks up a bowling ball that’s part of the display and (since we’re watching a sitcom, remember) he drops it on his foot. This provides a reason for Jess to stay in Portland!
She Was Born on the Freakiest of Fridays
After the title, Aly says she’s really nervous about meeting Charmaine. If only Winston’s mom was a male stranger. Nick then arrives to tell Aly that Charmaine is one tough cookie. Then, Cece and Schmidt suddenly walk in. Nick wants to know what they’re doing at the loft, especially since they don’t live there any more. The couple is insulted that they have to justify their presence. “Oh I get. You’re sad and lonely and you missed us in your new house,” Nick says.
“If anything, you need us,” Schmidt says. “We are married homeowners. Benefit from our wisdom.”
Winston decides that he has to go, so he can prepare for his mom. Then, Reagan arrives to announce that she’s going to a “drug party.” It’s really a convention. Nick tells her to go have fun and call if she’s too drunk to drive. Cece is a little surprised that Nick isn’t going, because it would be a good opportunity to meet Reagan’s friends. The two never talk about their friends.
Schmidt, the “Married Homeowner” of the group, can’t believe that they’ve never talked about it. Reagan says they’re not all “couple-y” like they are. Schmidt and Cece think they need to talk about stuff, but Nick is just confused about what this has to do with hamburger buns.
Reagan says that it’s just the way their relationship works. Nick says that he’d love to meet her friends, but still doesn’t want to go. Cece and Schmidt stare at him until he gives in and agrees to go to the convention.
In Winston’s room, Aly and Winston prepare for his mother’s visit. He drops a truth bomb – he’s never told his mom that he’s a cop. Winston said that his mother, who raised him by herself, would freak out at everything. He has her thinking he’s still in sports radio and even records shows for her. He starts to pack away anything that might give away his true profession. And if his occupation does come up during a conversation, Aly has to pretend she’s Winston’s producer. She’s really not happy.
Back in Portland, Jess is treating her father like a baby, even buying Lindsay Lohan’s unauthorized biography Freckle Me Once at the drug store for him. Oh, she also bought a bunch of medication for him. He tells her that it’s just a bruised toe, but she tells him it’s not just any toe. “It’s the index toe! That’s the one you point with!”
Bob decides to get her something in return – a one-way ticket back to Los Angeles. But she refuses to leave him during the “recovery” and needs to show him “tough love.” She orders him to go to bed and starts reading the Lohan biography. (“She was born on the freakiest of Fridays…”)
Back at the loft, Winston and Aly are going over the basics of sports talk radio. Cece and Schmidt overhear the conversation because they still haven’t left yet. Winston wants them to “step back from the mic.” At that point, Charmaine finally arrives and, unfortunately for Aly, the only thing his mom wants to talk about is work.
Schmidt and Cece walk in to say hello. “Oh, I thought you two moved,” Charmaine says. They turn back to the kitchen.
An Author Walks Into a Room of Pharma Reps
At the convention, Nick says he finally feels like he’s finally visiting Reagan’s home world. Reagan says that she’s not really friends with all these pharma reps, but they have all slept with one another over the years. Nick is clearly uncomfortable with this and tries to hide it. This must be why Reagan really didn’t want Nick to come.
Jack (Peter Porte), one of the other reps, comes over to give Reagan a hug and even lifts her off the ground! Nick introduces himself as someone who might win a raffle prize. Cue awkward laugh. During the chat with Reagan’s other friends, Nick learns that Reagan was once a ballerina and broke just about every bone in her legs.
Meanwhile, Aly is really annoyed that all Winston’s mom wants to talk about is his fake radio show. Winston admits that he shouldn’t have made it as interesting as he did. (Cue flashback of Winston’s hilarious radio show, in which he plays all the personalities.) Aly realizes that she’s never really going to be friendly with Charmaine if she always has to lie.
Charmaine interrupts them, pointing out that Aly has six of the same striped, long-sleeve shirts. Suddenly, the two are bonding over the shirts because they are both DDS – deep-discount shoppers! The two rush to a deep-discount store to shop. When Winston calls them “cheap,” they start complaining to him. “Easy now.”
At the convention, Nick is still completely out-of-place. When Reagan’s friends ask him if she should take a promotion, he’s dumbfounded. She thinks becoming a vice president of North American sales isn’t a big deal, but Nick thinks it is. Nick tries ti hid his disappointment over this by saying that they work as a couple because they don’t talk. He then ends the charade. “I’m really bothered by this,” he tells Reagan ad leaves.
Tell The Truth
In Portland, Jess is still sitting with her father and gets a call from Nick, who really wants to talk to her. She rejects the call. Nick leaves a long message, telling her that he’s falling apart because he does like talking about things with his girlfriend.
After hanging up, Nick gets a call from Schmidt, who’s checking in. Cece calls Nick at the same time, so he accepts that call, too. (Nick doesn’t have Cece’s number in his phone, so he had no idea it was her.) Now, he’s in a three-way phone call with Cece and Schmidt. Nick tells hem that they were right, he never talks with Reagan. He also blames them for messing everything up. Now, he has to go back to talking with her friends and pretending it doesn’t bother him. He then gets distracted by hors d’oeuvres and hangs up on them.
Back at Bob’s house, Jess is still sitting by her father’s bedside. As classical music plays, Jess tells him that she knows he got out of bed when she wasn’t looking. As punishment, she starts trimming his nails.
At the loft, Aly tells Winston that they have to tell Charmaine the truth. Schmidt and Cece want to help, but they reject the offer. Winston is “digesting” Aly’s request and agrees that she’s right. He tells Aly that she can tell the truth, but he’s still going to play fake radio host. Aly then tells Charmaine that she’s a cop and Winston still refuses to come clean.
“Well, I appreciate you telling me the truth. The job is dangerous, but I do salute your courage,” Charmaine tells Aly. Winston then tells the truth too, which shocks her. Charmaine goes into full over-protective mom-mode. She’s really stunned that her son might know what cocaine tastes like.
At the convention, Reagan tells Nick that she was going to turn down the promotion because it requires a lot of traveling. Nick tells her he’s still not happy because that’s the kind of conversation couples are supposed to have in private, not at a party! “Why are you being the girl in this argument?” Reagan asks.
Nick is confused with himself too, but he accuses her of being heteronormative. During a break in the argument, he hears that he won the raffle. It’s not surprising, considering he spent $190 (or $300) on tickets.
Piles & Piles of Stuff
Jess has finally finished Lindsay Lohan’s biography, really annoying her father. Bob really needs a break. He decides it’s time for him to show some tough love. “Jess, I want you to go home,” he tells her. “Go back to California.”
She finally opens up to her father. She’s in love with Nick and can’t do anything about it. Bob tells her that she can stay in Portland for as long as she wants. “You’ve taken care of me. Now, I’m gonna take care of you,” Bob tells her. So, he’s going to read one of his favorite books – Before The Web: The Story of Telephone Operators.
After the convention, Nick and Reagan are still talking about the promotion. She’s confused about why he’s angry about this, and notes that she thought they had this great “thing” where they don’t let each other in on their daily lives.
“I just want more, I guess,” Nick tells her. “I want to talk about stuff. And I know while I’m saying this, I hate that I’m saying this, but I feel it.”
Reagan says they are talking about it now, but he’s still not satisfied. “We’re not talking about all the stuff.”
“How much stuff is there?” Reagan asks, as if she doesn’t want to know the answer.
“There’s piles of stuff. Piles and piles of stuff.” Nick goes off on a roll about why they haven’t talked about nicknames, why she has a second apartment and why he hasn’t been at his best sexually with her. (He’s usually an 8 ½, but he’s mostly been a 7 with her.) Reagan pleads with him to just write all this stuff down because she’s too tired to handle it now.
Nick then decides that there is just one question he needs answered right now: If she wasn’t with him, would she take the promotion? She says that she would, proving that she’s sacrificing her career to stay in a relationship with him.
“Then you should take the job,” he tells her.
She agrees, and they’re cool. So cool, Nick wants a high-five. He’s really happy for her. But before they go to bed, he has to get rid of that raffle prize – a giant, creepy stuffed animal named Stuart.
Back at the deep-discount store, Aly talks with Charmaine. She tells her that she also worries about Winston, but they have each other’s backs. So when they get back home, Charmaine is ready to tell Winston that she’s fine with him being a cop. But Winston insists on going first. He tells her how great being a cop has been. “Being a cop is the first time, I’ve ever felt a calling,” he says.
Charmaine surprisingly tells Winston that she’s proud of him and will deal with her fears. There’s one more thing though. She pulls a badge out of her purse and at first, Winston thinks his mom is a cop. But the truth is that Winston’s father was a cop and that explains why she’s so protective of her son. Charmaine offers to give Winston the badge, but he refuses to take it. “You’re my mom and my dad,” he tells her. She insists he takes it though and he does.
In the last scene, Nick tells Cece and Schmidt (who are still at the loft for some reason) that he doesn’t think it’s going to work out with Reagan. Schmidt offers his bosom for Nick to lay his head on. Nick then admits that it’s a good thing that his friends are there, so the other two force him to repeat that a bit louder. Nick already regrets complimenting them.
In the last scene of the episode, we see Winston still recording fake radio broadcasts. (My favorite is the Australian talking about Tom Brady.)
What’s Next for ‘New Girl’
For those wondering, Zooey Deschanel is pregnant, which might explain why the writers have relocated her to Portland for the time being. But this does leave a giant plot hole: how does her school feel about the principal taking so much time off?
The next episode of New Girl airs on March 28 and is simply called “San Diego.” The episode description reads, “Jess and her dad help each other with their love lives; Nick turns to Aly for help with Reagan; Schmidt considers revealing his first name.”
Five seasons into New Girl and are we any closer to learning what Schmidt’s first name really is? Click to find out.